“We Demand a Vapid, Condescending, Meaningless, Politically Safe Response to This Petition.”.
Reason has cast a gimlet eye on the White House’s “We
the People” petition site before. (See Peter Suderman’s “5,000
Signatures Will Get You a Response From White House Policy Wonks,
Unless Your Idea is “Bad” or About Weed”) But some enterprising
citizens have take the enterprise of questioning the enterprise
even further, submitting this
petition on the site:
We demand a vapid, condescending, meaningless,
politically safe response to this petition.
Since these petitions are ignored apart from an occasional
patronizing and inane political statement amounting to nothing more
than a condescending pat on the head, we the signers would enjoy
having the illusion of success. Since no other outcome to this
process seems possible, we demand that the White House immediately
assign a junior staffer to compose a tame and vapid response to
this petition, and never attempt to take any meaningful action on
this or any other issue. We would also like a cookie.
After being hit with questions about UFOs and legalizing weed,
the White House has raised the threshold for a guaranteed response
25,000 e-signatures in 30 days. To date, the petition has
9,228. (Thanks in part to getting some
media coverage yesterday.) Go to town, commenters.
Via Jerry Brito’s Google+ feed, where he describes the petition
as “fatalistic and cynical.” I agree. And I would also like a
[Hit and Run]
Complementing the honest campaign ad, here’s the only realistic petition I’ve ever seen.